Forget about pills. Get over here and give me a hug!

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” ~Albert Einstein

Unless it’s from your creepy, sweaty Uncle Buttkiss, hugs have no down side.  Hugs are warm, joyful, melting, expressions of love and happiness.  We have all known that for quite a while and science is finally catching up.  According to scientists at The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, hugging for twenty seconds, along with hand holding for ten minutes with your partner, reduces stress levels.  Indicators such as blood pressure and heart rate were used against a control group that did not hug or hold hands.  You don’t have to hug with a partner; hugging a friend or even a massage has the same effect, it’s the magic of human touch.

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We humans have a complex system of stress relief.  Just under our skin are teeny, tiny little discs called Pacinian corpuscles.   These little transmitters are linked to our vagus nervous system.  They initiate the response the body has to touch from another human.  We start to produce oxytocin which is the bonding hormone.  It makes us feel affection and an emotional connection.  It is the hormone that mothers produce during birth so that they forget all about the pain of labor and simply fall in love with their babies.  It has a calming effect on men, making them more affectionate and more likely to be monogamous.  Increased hugs would equate with increased faithfulness and fidelity!  Kissing and hand holding work the same way.  

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Hugs slow the release of cortisol which is the stress drug.  It’s the hormone that causes anxiety and even weight gain.  Hugging will keep you slim.  Hugging will keep you relaxed.  Hugging can replace antidepressants!   When we hug dopamine is released.  Dopamine levels play a huge part in depression and are also linked to Parkinson’s Disease.  Dopamine helps keep us motivated and feeling good and positive.  It’s the feel good drug!  I like Dopamine!

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Touch makes all the difference in your life.  Babies who do not get the benefit of touch do not thrive.  The effects of neglect on the brain are the same as those of physical abuse.  It’s amazing how much we benefit from, and even need, physical expressions of love through hugs, cuddling, hand-holding, and kissing.  Couples who only kiss when they make love are more stressed than those who spontaneously kiss during the day.   It releases endorphins, another feel good hormone.  It helps to relax you and you can forget about your problems. A kiss is a mini-vacation!

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Hugs give us a sence of self-worth and self-love.  This is especially true for children.  If our parents are very cuddly with us we do much better.  These physical demonstrations of love we receive as children imprint on us and are carried through our life.  Whenever we hug we have the feeling of love we received from being hugged and cuddled as a child and baby.  If your parents weren’t all huggy and cuddly you can still start being more affectionate now.

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It’s hard to start hugging when you came from a family that didn’t hug or physically demonstrate love for each other.  But, you can do it.  Start with short hugs.  Talk with your siblings about the fact that you grew up with out many displays of affection, but that you’d like to change that.  They probably feel the same way.  Tell them you want to hug more.  Then hug!  Start a habit of hugging every time you see each other.  Talk about the twenty second hug rule with your friends and family!  They’ll love it, believe me!

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Raise your children with hugs and cuddling and lots of physical expressions of love.  It helps them love themselves and deal with stress far better.  Hugs are practically the only prescription you need for a healthy life.  Okay, eat well and exercise, too, but hug, hug, hug!

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We get our sense of connectedness with others through physical affection.  Our energies connect as well as all the chemical reactions we enjoy from touch.  We are all one and hugging reminds us that we are part of this greater whole.   If you can do it without being creepy, touch people.  Connect with people.  In this day and age where people are afraid they will be held liable for a hug it is often tough.  Schools don’t allow children to hug each other.  Even five-year olds are punished for hugging their friends.  This is ridiculous!  Hug!!!  Encourage your children to show how they feel.  Encourage them to hug each other and to hug you and their extended family.  Start a legacy of hugs!

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I’ll leave you with the greatest hug master of our era.   Please check out this short three-minute video because there’s another great thing about hugs, watching others hugs has many of the same benefits as if you were doing the hugging!   When we see acts of kindness and love our bodies release the same chemicals as if we were a giver or recipient of the love!  That’s how powerful love is!

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Go out there and love.  Start your own free hugs campaign!   Get over here and give me a hug!

Some huggable affirmations:

  • I express the love I feel for people through words and hugs.
  • I find it easy to show people through physical affection how I feel about them
  • I hug every day.
  • My friends and family and I hug when we greet each other and say Good-Bye and just for no reason at all.
  • Hugs are wonderful and I enjoy them.

As you are on your way to visit a friend or family member, imagine that when you get there you give them a great big hug.  Doesn’t that feel great.  Now do it.

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Now, imagine a world where everyone got many good long warm hugs everyday.  No hugs, no peace.  Know hugs, know peace.  Okay, so it doesn’t make perfect sense, but you know what I mean!

 

 

 

Dancing to your own music.

“I believe a simple and unassuming life is good for everybody, both physically and mentally.” ~Albert Einstein

I’ve held a theory for a long time that everything on earth has a divine purpose and a manifest purpose.  I use the word manifest to describe a purpose created by “man” in this instance, not as the verb, meaning to materialize a thought.  The divine purpose of a deck of cards would be to help people make choices and give guidance through divination.  The manifest purpose of cards would be for gambling.  The divine purpose of hemp would be for health purposes, environmental uses, and replacing plastics.  The manifest purpose would be drug abuse.  I’m not saying using cannabis is necessarily abuse, but it can be abused.  Don’t eat the whole pan of brownies by yourself!

When you see the beauty in a painting and purchase it, you are doing it to remain in presence.  Whenever we recognize beauty we are immediately brought into presence.  At that moment there is nothing but the beauty.  It is usually only momentary, but it is a perfect moment.  We buy the painting, in this instance, as a symbol of presence.  Usually we can tell if something is being used in the manifest purpose because ego is involved.  For instance when we purchase art as an investment and status symbol it is a manifest action.  We identify with the idea, the thought, that we are superior because we own this expensive painting.

Growing a garden can have a divine purpose or a manifest purpose.  Growing a garden for food and beauty is divine.   Sharing beauty (and the harvest) is divine.  Growing a garden for show and awards is manifest.  We know what bragging and boasting are.  Are we using something to validate or promote our status or are we using it to enhance the world?

A home has a divine purpose as a safe haven to abide in love and peace; it is a place that welcomes and embraces friends and strangers.  If it is used as an ornament or fortress, it is being used as a manifest tool to separate the owner from others, whether by social status or as a symbol of power and control.

We can ask ourselves how things make us feel or why we want them.  We can really dive into the value we place on objects and why we value them.  Do we want to use things for their highest purpose or as a status symbol?

Some times we buy things just for fun.  Fun is a wonderful thing and is definitely divine!  Sometimes we buy things to show off, a bit egoic, n’est pas.  When we act from ego we are separating ourselves from others.  We are trying to be better than them.  This is not an action of love.  So whenever we are acting from ego we are cutting ourselves off from the Collective Consciousness.  Whenever we cut ourselves off from the Collective Consciousness we are slowing down our growth and we are slowing down the manifestation of our dreams.

We can always sort out our motivation by asking a few questions. If you are thinking of a purchase the questions “Is it useful” or “Is it beautiful” come to mind.  If something is of no use to you or you don’t find it exquisite then you should probably get rid of it.   Even then you can get carried away with “collecting.”  I have a love of 1930’s era American pottery.  It got out of hand.  I had to choose one color that I loved.  I chose white.  Now I only buy beautiful old white 1930’s American pottery, and I do that rarely.  I must really love the design.  It makes me happy.  Some people don’t get it.  That’s okay.

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I have recently been sorting through my house and getting rid of stuff.  I made four trips to the dump.  Most of the stuff went into the Swap Shop at our local dump where one’s man’s trash is another man’s treasure.  It feels good to get rid of stuff.  It’s liberating.

But, it felt so good that now I’m thinking of getting rid of everything.   Seriously.  I have too much stuff.  I’m thinking of getting rid of my too big house and joining a commune where one only uses about 10% of the resources that the average American uses.  Doesn’t that sound kind of divine?  10%!  That sounds like 10% of the worries, head aches, cleaning, shopping, driving, maintaining, and working.  I could live like that.

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I wouldn’t even have to invent the wheel.  There are places like this all around the world.  I’m especially taken with the Dancing Rabbit EcoVillage.   This appears to be a place of community and sharing and less judgment.  No one cares if you drive a brand new car because the 75 people there share 4 vehicles.  No one cares if you look like you’re 25 because they don’t buy into the false body image ideals of the corporate/consumer driven media.  No one cares if you make tons of money because no one accepts the superficially contrived establishment-based lifestyle of most Americans.  Has anyone noticed how far off topic I’ve gone?  Nobody at Dancing Rabbit cares if I go off topic!   Ha!

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The thing is we don’t need so much.  We can use things as they are intended to be used, for purpose and beauty and hopefully both at times.  We don’t need to consume and throw away.  The world is meant to be revered, used in a symbiotic manner, and protected.  Not consumed and spit out.  We must cherish our planet and know that we are a part of it, not the ruler of it.  Nature is us and we are killing ourselves.  Off topic again!  I cannot focus today.  That’s okay.  What needs to be said is coming through.

All I am ever really saying is Think.  Think about why you are working so much.  Is it to pay your bills?  Not quite worth it in my humble opinion.  There has to be a better reason for working 40+ hours a week.  If you thrive where you work that’s a different story.  You might be happy working 80 hours a week.

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Is there a simpler way to live?  Yes.  It is to live with more self-sufficiency and more sustainability.  It is to live with less.  Less is less.  Less anxiety.  Less cleaning.  Less scheduling.  Less crappy processed convenience foods.  Less work.  Less driving.  Less TV.  Less fatigue.  Less stress.  Less is also more.  More time.  More relaxation.  More smiling.  More swimming.  More walking in the woods.  More playing.  More dancing.  More gardening.  More cooking.  More friends.  More family.  More happy.

More affirmations:

  • I do not need the approval of anyone.
  • I am enough.
  • I am perfect just as I am.
  • I love my life.
  • All my needs are simply met.
  • I live simply and happily with less.
  • I live in joy!

Imagine living within a like-minded community of souls who value time and play over  stress and work.  Imagine putting more value on fun than minivans.  Imagine spending your time supporting your life and not an invisible entity.  Imagine freedom from conformity.  Imagine dancing to your own music.

 

Domo Arigato, Dr. Emoto.

“Imagination is everything.  It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”  ~Albert Einstein

Have you heard of Dr. Emoto?  He’s been all over social media and consciousness documentaries like What the *Bleep* do We Know?  If you haven’t heard of him yet, or still want to hear more, then this is your Dr. Emoto primer.  First of all, can I congratulate you on your name, Dr. Emoto.  Are emoticons named after you?   For a man who has determined that inanimate objects respond to emotion your name (in our ethnocentric western world) is just perfect.

First a little on the inimitable Doctor.  Masuru Emoto is a Japanese man who started out with a degree in International Relations then studied Natural Medicine in India.  I haven’t read his book, The Hidden Messages in Water, so I don’t know why he started his study of the effect that outside abstract influences have on water.  In his study he used high-speed photography to take pictures of water that was frozen after having been subjected to written words, typed words, music, intentional emotions, and concepts like peace and anger.  How can a word taped to the outside of a glass container of water make a difference in how the  water inside behaves?

In quantum mechanics it has been shown that objects, like electrons, will act differently when being observed.  The observer influences the actions of the observed.   That’s pretty amazing when you think about it.   Dr. Masuru Emoto has taken that observation to water.  First, he studied water from different sources and found strong differences in how they formed crystals when frozen.  Some water, from polluted sources were unable to form crystals.  Now this all makes perfect sense to me.  There were probably pollutants in the water that inhibited crystal formation.  It’s what he did next that didn’t make sense in the scientific way.

He took two samples from the same source of water and exposed them to music.  The water exposed to the beautiful music formed a lovely crystal.  The water exposed to heavy metal music did not.  It was unable to form the typical hexagonal crystal of water.  We’ve all heard of the experiments in which plants were subjected to various types of music and how they responded, so this, too, is not beyond our ken.

 

 

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So, he continued to expand his research.  Next he tried using written words to influence the crystallization of the water.  this stretches the scope of our belief systems.  How can written words affect water.  He had containers of water from the same source and he attached different words to each container.   There were quite dramatic results.

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You make me sick, I will kill you.

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Love and encouragement.

 

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Thank you.

He used prayer on water.

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Dr Emoto tried many different way to influence water, from music, to written words, to thoughts and prayers and his results showed that there was a direct influence on the water.  It gives a whole new meaning to saying grace before meals.

And you know, the science community is calling it a lot of hooey.  And there are no experiments done by any others to corroborate, but I believe it.  Because I know that what we think and do affects everything in our lives.  So, call me crazy, but my Brita water pitcher has a peace sign and a heart and a smiley face on it.  I try to remember to realize that all my food is perfect for me.  I infuse love into my life and what goes into my body.

Is it real science, what Dr. Emoto does?  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  I just know about the transformational power of energy.  I know that the consciousness we focus on an object changes it.  I know that thoughts become things and that what we focus on is what our life becomes.  So, I’m going to focus on the positive and go from there.  I’m going to put some Mozart on for my water now.

Crystal Affirmations:

  • I know that my thoughts affect my life.
  • I use positive feelings and thoughts to improve my life and others.
  • I feel love, gratitude, and kindness towards myself and others.
  • I forgive myself and others.
  • I encourage myself on the path that brings me delight.
  • I see the best in people.

Before you eat or drink, infuse your food with love, gratitude, and perfection.  You are what you eat.

 

 

 

I invited God to dinner and this is what He said.

“Strange is our situation here on Earth.  Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose.” ~Albert Einstein

Is there a purpose for your physical existence here, now?  If the universe could talk to you and tell you what you are, here is what it would say.

“You are the love of my life.  You are source energy, the highest vibration, the vibration of perfection.  You are the physical realization of all that is beautiful, joyful, and loving.  There is no one greater than you.  No one more beautiful than you.  There is no one more loved and adored than you are.  You are perfection.  When you were created in your physical body you held all the creative power of the universe within you, and you still do.  You are the most perfect being that ever existed.  The world would be a lesser place without you in it.

You are so important to the consciousness of the universe, so much a necessary part, that it wouldn’t be the same without you.  You bring joy and laughter to my heart.  You are a constant reminder of the perfection of love.

You embody all that is playful, joyful, and free.  If you only knew the joy I receive from being with you and watching you.  I love it when you are filled with the joy of life, when you play with abandonment, knowing how much you are loved.  You are the favorite child, the reason for my existence.  You are the pure essence of love and joy.  I love you more than you will ever know.  You will know my love when you realize how perfect you are.  Until then, know that I love you beyond human thoughts or words, beyond your wildest dreams.  For you are the reason for my existence. You are the love that fills my heart.  You are made from love and filled with love.

When we are in perfect union again, I will rejoice.  You are the part of me that makes me perfect.  I can not tell you how much you are loved, for it is more than can be spoken.  It is more than can be imagined.  You are adored.  You are the best of me.”

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Wow.  And you wonderd why you are here.  Look in the mirror and see this you that the universe sees.  See the object of ineffable love that looks back at you.  This is who you are.  Remember this love that the universe holds for you when you are feeling bad.  Remember how much you are loved and adored.  Rejoice in that love.  Be one with that love.  Feel it.  See everyone else the way the universe sees you.  Reflect the love that you are.

Self-loving affirmations:

  • I am made in the image of God.
  • The kingdom of God is within me.
  • I am one with source.
  • I am loved and adored.
  • I am joyful and playful.
  • I am beautiful.
  • I am magnificent.

Imagine you have invited God for dinner.  Feel how much s/he loves you as you sit and share a meal.  Play a game afterwards.  Laugh with God.

If you still don’t believe it and want a certificate proving you are divine, you can get it here.

Challenge accepted.

“Our actions should be based on the ever-present awareness that human beings in their thinking, feeling, and acting are not free but are just as causally bound as the stars in their motion.” ~ Albert Einstein

When we accept less than perfect love into our souls then we are infecting ourselves with negative energy which we must then work to transform into positive.  We do not need to accept that which does not benefit us.  One of many stories attributed to the Buddha tells of any angry man who approached the Buddha and began to harass him, insult him, and provoke him.  The Buddha asked the man if he had any friends and family.  The man responded that he did.  The Buddha asked him if he ever gave any gifts to his friends.  The man said that he did.  The Buddha asked him what he would do if a friend refused the gift he gave.  The man replied that he would bring the gift home to his family and enjoy it with them.  The Buddha then said, “So it is with you today.  You have brought me a gift which I choose not to accept.”  This is how the Buddha lovingly taught the man that what is offered to us by others is not what we have to accept.

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Lately I have been using a form of affirmation that I never used before.   I would like to share it with you as I have found it very powerful in my life.  Love is greater than fear.  We are always offered either love or fear by others and we always offer either love or fear to others.  Using these new affirmations is reminding me of what I want to accept into my soul and offer to others.

  • I accept only love, compassion, and peace into my heart.
  • I offer only love, compassion, and peace to others.
  • I accept only courage, inspiration, and action for myself.
  • I offer only encouragement, inspiration, and help to others.
  • I accept only happiness and joy for myself.
  • I offer only happiness and joy to others.
  • I accept only love and respect for myself.
  • I offer only love and respect to others.
  • I accept only abundance and wealth for myself.
  • I offer only abundance and wealth to others.
  • I accept only generosity of spirit.
  • I offer only generosity of spirit.
  • I accept only perfect health and vibrance in my physical body.
  • I offer only perfect health and vibrance to others.
  • I recognize only the divine in myself.
  • I recognize only the divine in others.

We are in this body at this time for only a short while, but we can have an impact on the growth of our spiritual consciousness.  We can raise each other up or tear each other down.  We can accept only that which benefits and give only that which empowers love.  When you look in the mirror in the morning repeat these affirmations while looking into your own eyes and know how valuable you are to the enlightenment of all beings.  Offer only what you would offer to your most beloved and accept only what you would want for your most beloved, for you are most beloved.

Imagine that you walk into a restaurant by yourself.  You walk over to a table of strangers and one of them stands up.  What does s/he say to you?  How do you respond?  Are any words exchanged?  What happens?

Dead Man Talking.

“Mysticism is in fact the only criticism people cannot level against my theory.” ~Albert Enstein

“The words of the language, as they are written or spoken, do not seem to play any role in my mechanism of thought. ” ~Albert Einstein

When I was 28 years old I was at a family gathering.  My sister and her husband showed up with a deck of Egyptian Cartouche cards.  They were divination cards, similar to Tarot cards.  They were playing with them, trying to do a reading,  and then handed them to me to try out.  Well, I started reading the cards and it was like I had done it for years.  I felt an energy come over me as you would when you are completely engrossed in a creative project.  They couldn’t understand how I was doing it and neither could I. After a little while my sister’s husband said, “You’re on fire.  Keep the cards.”  So began my life long activity of card reading.

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Why was I able to use the cards so easily the first time I tried them?  I don’t know.  Perhaps because I was open to the idea.  Perhaps because I had been meditating and was open to the Collective Consciousness more than a lot of people.  Whatever the reason it was a whole new interesting growth experience for me.

Divination cards are filled with archetypal symbolism which, even if you don’t understand the cards, works within your subconscious to facilitate growth.  The more I used the cards the more I was open to messages for the people I was reading.  I’ve had some interesting experiences with the cards.  One woman asked if she could ask a question of the cards without saying it aloud to me.  I told her we would give it a try.

When I laid out the cards for her I suddenly got a vision of two dogs driving in a convertible.  Both of the dogs were dressed up, really dressed up.  The male dog was driving and the female in the passenger seat.  I remember that she was wearing a polka dot scarf and sunglasses.  They were very happy.  Now I was a little wary of telling my client this.  It sounded crazy, but I try not to edit what I see, so I told her.  She said. “If you hadn’t told me that I wouldn’t have believed a word you said.”  She went on to tell me that she and her son had each had a dog and on Sundays they would dress them up and take them out for a drive in the car.  The dogs had both passed away.  They had come into my consciousness to let her know they were fine and having fun.  How strange is that?

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A few years after I started reading cards a new friend said that she thought I would like channeling.  Channeling is communicating with those who have passed on.  I said I would give it a try.  We set up a date with two of my friends and her.  She said a little prayer of protection before we started.  Then she told us to close our eyes and that if anything came up, even if we didn’t know who it was for, to share it.  I almost immediately had a vision of an older couple.  I spoke up and said that I thought they were here to see my friend, N.  I described them physically and told her they were standing in front of some very dense woods.  I also said that I thought the woods meant something.  She said that the physical description sounded like her aunt and uncle.  I gave her their message that even though they fought like cats and dogs when they were alive that they were very happy now.  The messages did not come in words, just a knowing of what they wanted conveyed.  N said that was exactly what they were like.  I reiterated a couple of times that I thought the dense growth of trees meant something.  I went on to tell her a few more things that they wanted to say.  Then they left.  Right after that a little Jack Russell Terrier started barking at an open door.  I told N that the dog was here and that he was very excited to see her.  She responded that they had owned a Jack Russell terrier and that it must be their dog.  I once more brought up the trees and N said, “Well, their last name is Forest.”  Then I knew that they had been trying to tell me their name.

N then shared a visit with the father of the woman who had brought us together.  She told her her father’s name and that he had succumbed to lung disease.  She said she saw him with an inhaler.  This was all true.

Amazing things happen in this world of material substance.  We so often only trust what we can discern with our five senses and write off anything we can’t prove.  Even though most people have experienced moments of foresight they are still unwilling to entertain the idea of our ability to go beyond the physical plane while still living in it,  As William Shakespeare said,  “There are more things in heaven and earth, dear Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

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Albert did not believe in any of this stuff.  He would be surprised to see where his equation has brought the understanding of energy and matter.  He began something with his theories that would probably confound him now!  The ideas of a holographic universe.  The concept of energy in the form of thoughts, emotions, and imagination producing matter.  All of these leaps of the mind and consciousness that have become more accepted because of his theory.  Wow.  Thanks, Albert.  Even if you didn’t believe it, you helped to realize an expanding awareness in the world, a whole new way of looking at God-consciousness.

I have had experiences with precognition.  I’ve had experiences with spirits.   If I had a closed mind I wouldn’t have been open to these encounters.

I think that divination cards are a useful tool.  The symbols and archetypes contained in them work on a subconscious level to bring us to a higher awareness.  They work in a very similar way to dreams.  I would recommend that anyone picks up a deck of these cards to use daily.  It is not necessary to learn how to read the cards.  I would just pull a “random” card from the deck every day, study the card and read the description in the book.  Most decks come with a guide.  The cards, even though you “randomly” selected them, will not be random.  Even if you see no connection between the card and what is happening in your life, there is a connection.  You could ask a question before pulling out a card.  You will get a card that will help enlighten you on the issue.

I would suggest the Angel cards of Doreen Virtue.  They are very uplifting and give great insight into your life.  I own the Archangel Oracle Cards, but she has many other decks that would be wonderful.  Any deck you see that resonates with you is perfect.  If you have any recommendations please leave them in the comments.

Don’t doubt that you can do anything, you are connected to the All.  Be open to anything.  Visit with friends and family passed.  They often visit in your dreams to let you know they’re okay.  Sometimes they will tell you that they’ve been away and are having a great time.  We see images that work with our physical reality, but their message is often that they are in a place so beautiful and amazing that they can’t describe it in our earthly terms, only in our “symbolic language.”  Be at peace concerning those who have passed on.  They are happy.  Believe me.  I get messages of joy with everyone who visits me who has passed, including animal companions.  The biggest messages are joy and complete freedom beyond any definition we have here.  An unlimited joyful, exuberance that can’t really be described.  They’re in heaven!

Open your mind to all possiblities and everything is possible.

Some impossibly wonderful affirmations:

  • I have powers of cognition beyond my five physical senses.
  • I am connected to source.
  • I am one with the intelligence of the universe.
  • I go forward in courage knowing that I intuitively choose right action through my connection to source.
  • We are all one in spirit.

Remember times when you knew what was going to happen, or a dream you had about someone you loved who died and  came to visit you.  Think of times when you knew things that you had no reason to know.  You have great gifts, open your mind to receive them.

 

 

Buddha used to stay inside, he’s outside now, sitting on the porch.

“I no longer need to take part in the competition of the big brains.  Participating [in the process] has always seemed to me to be an awful type of slavery no less evil than the passion for money or power.” ~Albert Einstein

Years ago I had a Buddha statue inside my house near my front door, he’s outside now.  The Buddha’s hands were empty, so I would put a card in them with some quote or an idea that I liked.  The kids would read it and usually laugh at me.  Or replace the card with something ridiculous, but very funny, that they wrote such as “The frog only wore a vest while riding his bicycle to the doughnut shop.”  One day I wrote on a card, “Whenever you act with love, you are right.”  As I drove to work that day it was all I could think of.  I wondered whether or not it was true.  I debated it for a while, with myself, and decided it was true, but that there is a difference between acting with love and intending to act with love.  We must be able to discern the difference between acting with love or acting in ego, which is acting in fear.

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Parents often say that they are acting with love when they think they are doing something in their child’s best interest, but often they are acting out of fear.  They may make their child go to college, even though the child finds classrooms and any indoor occupation stifling, because they fear that the child will not make enough money in a job which isn’t predicated upon a college education.  They think they are acting with love, but they are acting based on fear of lack.  Lack is one of the most prominent fears in the human mind.  It prevents so many people from doing what they love or from taking risks to attain their dream life.  Many people have led a life of misery due to their parent’s indoctrination of fear.  If this happened to you, you can now take control of your life and take action out of love rather than fear.

Parents even hit or abuse their children under the guise of love, though love is never violent or angry.  Violence and anger come from fear.  The parent does not know how to properly teach a child and without thought, but just as a learned habit, uses punishment as a form of teaching.  They are using negative reinforcement.  And, they most certainly are reinforcing the negative, because when they teach a child that violence is a means to resolve issues they are a long way from love.  Love means explaining with patience, it means accepting mistakes with grace, and giving a child what they need with unconditional acceptance of who they are.  It means loving them even when we are afraid that, like us, they may not be as good as the other kids.  It means not comparing and not judging.

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In relationships we sometimes hold on to people we should let go, not because we love them.   If they would be happier without us then loving them would be letting them go.  If we would be happier without them then loving ourselves would be letting them go.  Sometimes we hold on to them even after they have gone.  We hold on to them because we fear being alone.  We fear that we are unlovable.  We fear separation.

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Whenever you act, look at your motives.  I was once betrayed by someone very, very close to me.  I wrote them a letter and asked a friend to read it and let me know what he thought.  He read the letter and said, “Well, it depends what you’re trying to accomplish here.  If you’re trying to piss him off, it’s a great letter.”  It’s one of those cases of, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”  I, obviously, was not acting from a place of love.  I was not being conciliatory or forgiving.  I was still acting out of fear.  Fear of rejection and betrayal.  Fear of being misrepresented.  Fear of being wrong.  Fear of loss.  Fear of being unlovable.

When we always want to be better than others; better looking, better at sports, better at making money, better at cooking, better at dancing, better at parenting, better at giving, better at fashion, better at volunteering, better at relationships, better at intellectual pursuits, better at anything, we are not acting with love.  When we are in competition, we are acting from fear.  Fear that we are less than others; inferior.  Fear that they are better than us, superior.  Fear that the people we associate with will find out that we are really just a mess like everyone else.

There are so many fears, one of the biggest being fear of embarrassment, the fear of looking foolish or unworthy to others.  When we learn to laugh at ourselves it is a big step in giving up that fear.  Fear of saying or doing the wrong thing can be paralyzing to some.  Realize that we all make mistakes and, more importantly, that everyone cares about your mistakes a lot less than you may think.  They’re usually too worried about what others think of them.  Stop caring about what others think.  Care only about acting with love.  And, give other people a break.  They’re doing the best they can.

When we compare ourselves to others we are giving in to the belief in separation.  We are all one, so why compare and compete?  When one of us wins we are all raised up, when one of us loses we are all defeated.  Let’s think about our lives and others as though we are one, because we are.

When we give up fear, we act with love.  Whenever we act with love, we are right.

Some loving affirmations:

  • I recognize when I am acting with fear and make corrections in my thinking and actions.
  • I act with love with all beings.
  • I care only about doing what is right and acting with love.
  • I accept all beings as they are.
  • I am a worthy and loving being.
  • I laugh at my mistakes and learn from them.
  • I am love.

Imagine that you walk into a crowded square and there are lots of children there.  You begin giving each child a gift.  They each open their gift and are so happy.  What do they find when they open the gift?

Did you really just hit your kid for hitting a kid?

 “…you do have a father who loves you more than anything else and is constantly thinking of you and caring about you.” ~Albert Einstein

I finally got started in a new book group.  So excited, I haven’t been in one for years and this one is called Book ‘n Brew, and we’re not talking coffee.  It’s fun to discuss books while enjoying dinner and a glass of wine.  The group is sponsored by the local library and is led by a wonderful woman who works in the Children’s Library and loves books.

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Last night was the first group I attended.  We deconstructed a book of well over 6oo pages.  There were about a dozen people there and about a half of them either didn’t like the book as a whole, while the other half really enjoyed it.

Because the book was so long and the plot so disjointed (not my words!), our leader thought it might be a good idea to discuss the book’s characters as a way of figuring out the author’s theme and intent.

We finally got to the meanest, nastiest, most unlovable character in the book and started to tear him apart.  Who could possibly like this man who beat his wife and son for years, deserted his son when he needed him most, spent his life trying to track his son down (now a fugitive) to make sure he was punished for a terrible mistake that he made as a young man?   Wow, what a sweetie.  Glad he wasn’t my father.

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This character was a General in the U.S. Army.  Some one in the group said,”How could anyone treat their family that way?”  If you look at it, though, the majority of this man’s life was predicated on the paradigm that violence is a way to deal with conflict.  Of course, someone else said that may be well enough, but why bring it home, why not compartmentalize his life and leave the violence where it belongs.

And here’s the big question.  Does violence belong anywhere?  In a world filled with violence, how can we change anything?  We can’t change anyone else?  We can try, occasionally someone will see the light, but we can really only try to make ourselves better people.  We can only be peace to promote peace.  We can only be the change.  Sounds so trite and simple.  But, isn’t the simplest way always the best?    We can begin at home.  Whenever a child is punished with  violence, whether physical or verbal, we are showing them that violence is a solution to a problem.  Imagine at work if you got hit or beaten for making a mistake or doing something wrong.  Imagine if your boss yelled at you and sent you to the corner to take a time out.   I know I’m going to get a few raised eyebrows on that, after all time out is one of our biggest forms of punishment for children right now, but I don’t think it’s right.  Give me a minute and I’ll explain.

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Do we need to punish children at all?  Has anyone ever asked that question?  When they do something which we consider bad is it because they are bad or because they haven’t yet developed the emotional or intellectual tools to deal with a situation in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone or cause a problem?  Children learn from modeling after their role models and from what they are told.  Unfortunately, for us imperfect souls, they model what they see us do for the most part.  If only they would do what we say and not what we do!  So, how can you blame a child for having a tantrum when their father loses control and screams at them or hits them or throws furniture around.  They are only following his lead.  How can you expect a child not to hit another child when Mom walloped them just last night for breaking another dish?  How can it be wrong and right at the same time?

There are, also, things children do that don’t seem to be behaviors they’ve learned.  A child might steal something.  Why would a child do this if they didn’t learn it from modeling?   If it’s not out of hunger or another strong physical need, then why?  Stealing would symbolize the fear of lack.  It may be that the child perceives a lack of love or a lack of acceptance for who they are and they are trying to fill that need with things.  It may be that their parents talk about money, or the lack thereof, in the child’s presence and so the child always feels insecure about money and possessions.  Generally though, I think that stealing is symbolic of trying to fill an emotional need.

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We can often ask a child until we are blue in the face why they did something, such as steal or lie, and they won’t answer us or they just say they don’t know.  That is often exactly the case.  They don’t know.  As adults we do things so often without knowledge of our motives, we do things by rote, completely unconscious of the belief, thought, or emotion that lead us to the action, and yet, we expect an eight year old to understand the psychology of their behaviors.

As parents we need to be more aware of our behaviors than at any time ever before in our lives.  It’s not just about us anymore.  Whenever we do something in front of our children that is not acceptable to our concept of good behavior we must bring it up and explain to them why what we did was not acceptable.  If we yell at our child we must apologize and tell them that it was wrong because we didn’t show them respect, because we frightened them, and because there is a better way to deal with our anger than yelling.  We can then go on to discuss a better way to deal with our anger.  When our child misbehaves we should take the same steps with them.  We can talk about the behavior and why it was unacceptable.  We can ask them about their opinion on the behavior you saw as unacceptable and see if they can switch places and imagine themselves as the person subjected to their behavior.

When our child makes a mistake, and they’ll make plenty, we can accept the mistake graciously and give them the same kindness we would give a guest who made a mistake.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that children don’t have the motor skills and mental skills that we have developed.  We can be a little more patient and understanding when we feel they are too slow, there’s a lot of new, exciting stuff out there for them to see.  Instead of rushing them, let’s give them a little more time to sightsee on this amazing planet that is their new home.

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What if your child continues a behavior that you feel you have taken a lot of timing explaining to them the reasons why it is unacceptable?  You just have to take more time.  Try a different way of explaining.  We all process information differently.  Ask them why they keep doing something that is a problem for others and often, themselves.  And ask yourself if it really is a problem.  Maybe they’re not intellectually ready to understand the construct of what you are saying to them yet and it will just take a little more maturity until they can grasp it.  They are doing their best.  Just like all of us.

What about time outs?  If we have a child sit by themselves as a punishment we are telling them that quiet time alone is bad,that  it is not desirable.  Quiet time is not a punishment in the real world.  Ask any adult, it’s a vacation for most!  So let’s not use time outs, but instead, sit with our child and use reason and love to overcome unacceptable behavior.  Talk about safety, kindness, or whatever issue is associated with the behavior, but don’t make a child sit alone, often not even understanding why.

If a child becomes overly emotional (screaming, tantrum, sobbing), we can sit quietly with them and show them how to control their emotions.  Most children are frightened by their heightened emotions and don’t think they can control them, especially if they see their parents lose control at times. We can show them how to calm themselves, simply by being very calm ourselves, and by giving them techniques like deep breathing or walking away from an emotional situation to get their bearings.  Show them that they have the power they need to control themselves.  Empower your children whenever you can.  Let them know they have control over their behavior and emotions without holding them responsible for the things they still can’t control.

I once read an article by a child psychologist, so long ago that I have no idea who it was, but she said that when a child is yelled at for spilling something when they are very young they don’t understand it because they think they didn’t spill it, their hand did.  Apparently they don’t have the control over their physical bodies that we think they should or do at very young ages.

Children are often emotionally fragile, especially with their parents, because all they want is your love, really.  If they know they are loved and not judged, even when they’ve done something that isn’t acceptable, then they will grow up to be happy and loving.  Our words and actions as parents are the biggest contributors to our child’s well-being or lack thereof.  Let’s make it the best we possibly can.  Let’s raise our own consciousness and that of our children and the world at the same time.  When we are love, we raise love.  When we are loving parents, we raise loving people.

Some loving affirmations:

  • I treat children with the same love and respect as adults.
  • I do not judge children for their actions, knowing that they are learning who they are.
  • I treat all people with love and respect.
  • I respond to misbehavior with calm love and reason.
  • All action comes from fear or love.  If someone acts from fear, I respond to it with love.

Imagine yourself as a child.  Do you remember a time when you were misunderstood or punished?  How could it have been handled differently so that everyone felt loved and accepted?

Raise your hand if you ever thought you might be OCD.

“A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?” – Albert Einstein

Why could Albert be so happy with so little?  Because he was in the moment.  He sank into his favorite comfortable chair, Ohhhhhhhh.  He took a juicy bite of the fruit,  Mmmmmm.  He closed his eyes and listened to his favorite Mozart sonata,  Ahhhhhhhh.  Life is good.  Albert wasn’t thinking of all the other things going on in his life.  He wasn’t obsessing over some scientist who didn’t agree with his work, he wasn’t dreading an upcoming lecture to lay people about the Theory of Relativity.  He was completely in the moment.  If he had died then he would have died happy.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a problem that we hear about a lot.  We have all joked, at one time or another, that we suffer from OCD because, as humans, we do tend to obsess.  Sometimes I’ll be thinking about some issue while driving in the car or doing a chore that doesn’t require my full attention and I’ll notice that a good amount of time has passed and I’m still thinking of the same thing!  I’ll say to myself, “Why  the bleep am I still thinking about that (or them)?  Why?!!!!”  There’s usually at least one swear in the sentence.  Pick your own.

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I have a theory. No, it’s not as mind shattering as Albert’s whoppers.  My theory is that the ego uses these obsessions to keep us from living in the present moment.  The ego invents all of these dramas to keep us from realizing that we have everything we could possibly need in the present moment.  We can perceive every situation with a calm and peaceful mind if we so chose.  We can forego drama and crisis orientation.  We can live in peace if we want.

At this moment all I need is here.  At this moment I am perfectly happy.  I am washing the dishes and there is peace in my world.  I am shopping for groceries and I am happy.  I am brushing my teeth and there is no drama or discord.  I am talking with you and I am love.  Albert is happy with so little because we can actually be happy with nothing.  Happiness always has been and always will be an inside job.

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Yes, things will happen.  You don’t get what you want.  Someone is mean to you.  You will respond with sadness or anger.  Watch your sadness.  Observe your anger.  When you are ready, let it go.  Let it float away.  We are usually not upset about what we think we are upset about.  Sometimes we invent a crisis so that we don’t have to face something we deem unpleasant.  Whether it’s a task or a person, it is best to face it.  Sometimes we invent a drama because we are afraid to move forward, afraid to step away from the familiar and move on.  We obsess as a distraction and as an excuse to procrastinate; I have to deal with this drama now so I can’t move forward.  We are so very good at rationalizing our procrastination.   Be mindful.  Remember to ask why you are in a drama.  What are you trying to avoid?

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We won’t always get what we think we want.  Mostly because we really don’t want it, we are just using our wish as a diversion from facing ourselves.  But, we are only afraid to face ourselves when we don’t recognize our magnificent divinity.  If we realize who we really are then we will stop putting things off, stop wanting what is not important, we will stop obsessing about fictitious problems.  We can forgive ourselves (and others) for not being perfect and move on.

I will keep saying it.  I really don’t mind repeating myself.  You might mind, but I don’t!  Meditation is the best way to discover our true self.  Please check out the post on meditation if you haven’t yet started your practice.  Here’s a link to a great meditation book and CD.  When we realize what we truly are, we will relax.  Doesn’t that sound like a day at the spa?  Who needs a bowl of fruit?  Relax.  Calm.  Peace.  Joy.    Ahhhhhhh.

Some present affirmations:

  • I am peaceful when all around me is chaos.
  • I hold a center of peace and calm.
  • My thoughts are in my control.
  • I choose to think peaceful and loving thoughts.
  • I am a divine and magnificent being.
  • There is only love.

Imagine an instance where all around you are upset.  You are quiet and peaceful.  Nothing can affect your inner peace.

Alarm clocks suck.

“A man must learn to understand the motives of human beings, their illusions, and their suffering.” ~Albert Einstein

What do you do when your alarm clock goes off in the morning?  I bet a survey would show that 99.9% of people hit the snooze button.  The other 0.1% throw it across the room.  I know I always did when I was working that 7am to 3pm day shift.  Every morning at half past dark the alarm would ring and I’d growl or groan or grumble and hit snooze.  It’s just not natural to have a ring or a buzz or a piercing alarm wake you up out of a dead sleep.  It’s a hostile world out there.

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Our first thought upon realizing it is once again time to get up and go to work is one of resentment and anger.  Unless, of course, you got a great night’s sleep and love, love, love your job.  But, if like many, you do not, then it’s a rude awakening.  Nothing makes one want to stay in bed more than the untimely sounding of an alarm clock.

You guessed it, that’s what life is like.  No one wants to be awakened with a harsh lesson.  We all want to learn our lessons the easy way and slowly wake up to them without any consequences for not understanding them sooner, yet we keep oversleeping. Our life is like a dream that we aren’t aware of most of the time.  We do things without  considering how they affect our life or others around us.  We make the same mistakes over and over.  We let life lead us, just as in a dream we follow along.

Lucid dreaming is when we have a dream while we are sleeping and suddenly we  are aware that we are dreaming.  From that point on in the dream we are able to make decisions and change anything we want.  Like we can fly away from a monster, which, seriously, is what I did in a dream once.  I’m not sure if it was a monster, but I knew something horrible was chasing me through a science research center.  I was running as fast as I could, careening down long corridors with closed doors on either side, flourescent lights overhead, until I reached a huge lobby with three stories of glass in a semi-circle in front of me.  The monster was close when I realized I was dreaming.  I was so excited.  I realized I could do whatever I wanted.  So I flew, crashing through the glass soaring into the beautiful blue sky above the trees.

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This dream was about fear.  I was being chased by an invisible monster, an invisible fear, an unknown fear.  There was nothing visible chasing me and yet in the dream I was terrified that I would be killed if I let it catch me.  We do the same thing in life.  We let our imagination conjure up invisible demons.  We let our worries destroy our faith.  We suffer from unspecified anxiety.  We run from the fear of failure or success.  We are afraid to have it all and afraid to have nothing.  The glass wall represented my third eye, my soul, my spirit.  In the dream I realized I could escape by crashing through the glass.  It was symbolic of me recognizing the powerlessness of my fear when making contact with my higher self.  When we are connected to spirit we have no fear.

In our waking life we sometimes act as though we can’t make any changes in our lives.  We continue to do the same stupid things over and over.  We continue to follow old patterns of actions and thinking.  It’s time we tried lucid waking.  It’s called mindfulness and it’s amazing!  We can learn without making the same mistakes over and over.  As the Professor said, we must try to understand our illusions and our suffering.  Self awareness is a beautiful thing and allows us to live a much happier life.

Life reviews are good for us.  Taking a look at patterns in our thoughts and actions is very revealing about what we believe and what illusions we continue to hold onto.  You would think that after we found out about Santa Claus we would question everything, but we don’t.  Start to question everything.  Everything.  If Quantum Physics is teaching us anything, it is that it’s all a matter of perception.  Our consciousness impacts everything we think about, observe, or act  upon.

Start to see with your third eye.  This is the vision of your being, your intuition, your consciousness and the only true reality.  Let go of illusions and you let go of suffering.

And how do you see with your intuition and consciousness?  Here’s that word again, meditation.  I will be doing a post soon on how to meditate that’s a little more in-depth.  For now, try sitting comfortably, relax, close your eyes, take three deep clearing breaths and then just notice your breathing. Don’t change your breathing.  Don’t try to regulate the pattern of your breathing.  Just watch it.  Experience how it feels through your nostrils, notice how your abdomen moves out when you inhale and moves in when you exhale.  Observe your breathing quietly.  If thoughts come up, just return to your observation.  Just keep returning to the breath.  Do that for at least twenty minutes a day.

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Practicing mindfulness is simply being aware of your thinking.  Choose thoughts that work for you and not against you.  Never denigrate yourself.  See the good in yourself and when you slip up, let it go and realize that you just learned something new.  Isn’t that great!

Soon, you’ll be seeing patterns in your thinking and that knowledge and insight will help you to develop new beliefs and new thought patterns that are empowering and life affirming.  Make sure that what motivates you comes from a desire within you and not from the need for external approval.  

When you can be yourself, when you are motivated by your intuition, your suffering will end.

Some empowering affirmations:

  • I am aware of my thoughts and use them to my advantage.
  • I do what I love.
  • I am connected to the energy of the universe.
  • I am a wonderful person and deserve to do what I love.
  • I am filled with the energy of love and creativity.
  • I am one with All.

Imagine you are walking on the beach and you see God walking towards you.  When you ask  “Who am I?” what does God say?