Pink piggy kitchen timers and heroin.

“Before God we are all equally wise and foolish.” ~Albert Einstein

A few years ago I was out with a few friends.  One of them, M, is a close friend and a very generous person.  At that time she was allowing the daughter of one of her old friends to recuperate from a hospital stay at her home.  Her friend’s daughter, K, was staying in a bedroom on the lower level of M’s home.  She was due to move out soon and M noticed her suitcase in K’s room.  She went in to take it and saw that it was filled with her own things.  K had gone through M’s house and “shopped.”  M also found out that K had used her credit card for purchases ranging from coffee and donuts to expensive electronics.

K was addicted to heroin.  She had been in the hospital for a medical issue that had almost killed her.  M allowed her to recuperate at her house and K robbed her.  M seemed to be stuck on the question of why K stole such bizarre items.  A pink piggy kitchen timer, a corkscrew, a pair of jeans, and a bikini top to name a few.  The suitcase was filled with an odd assortment of useless stuff.  Why?


Because K has a hole inside of her that she is trying to fill with pink piggy kitchen timers and heroin.  She is not alone.  We all have a hole inside of us that we try to fill.  The difference is that most of us fill the holes in our souls in a socially acceptable fashion.  Literally in socially acceptable fashion at times.  We try to fill our soul holes with clothing, chachkes, furntiure, cars, accessories, appliances, redecorating, shopping, shopping, and more shopping.  It doesn’t matter what we fill the hole with, we just need a distraction, a momentary pleasure.


We try to fill our lives with stuff so that we don’t have to look at the scary.  We shop for the same reason that we drink, or smoke, or work constantly.  We do everything we can to avoid  exploring what lies beneath the surface.  What is in that deep, dark hole?  That hole that never seems to get filled.  Even though we may be afraid it might overwhelm us, we can never be whole until we face the hole.

As long as we continue to try to fill the hole without seeing what’s causing it, we will be shoveling stuff into it for eternity.  That hole is dug with dissappointment, jealousy, anger, confusion, self-pity, loneliness, blame, self-loathing, need, insecurity, and every other negative emotion that the Ego leads us to believe is who we are.  The hole is fear.  The Ego wants us to be so busy trying to hide it from our True Self and others that there is no time to explore our real nature.  The Ego distracts us with stuff.  We are not the Ego.  We can shine a flashlight into that hole and realize that we are not unworthy because we weren’t the favorite child in the family.  We will see that we aren’t stupid because our second grade teacher didn’t like us.  We aren’t useless because we can’t play soccer as well as  our best friend, we aren’t undeserving because our parents made less money and we had less stuff, we aren’t dirty because we were sexually abused, we aren’t ugly because the one we liked liked someone else, we aren’t disgusting because we had sex with lots of people when we were young, we aren’t lazy because we daydreamed a lot, and we aren’t worthless because we are addicts.  We dig these holes in our souls with all of these Ego based lies and then the hole is so big and so scary that we think we might fall in if we explore it.

Every negative thing someone did to you is a reflection of who they are, not who you are.  If you weren’t treated fairly, it is not because you didn’t deserve to be.  If others had more, it’s not because you deserved less.  If your parents didn’t love you, it’s not because you didn’t deserve to be loved.  We need to look at these lies and let them go.

We need to look into these holes and see what untruths fill them and fill the holes with the truth.  The truth is that you are infinite abundance, infinite creativity, and infinite love.  You are the Divine.  You are the ever expanding Light of the Universe!  To think any less of yourself is to believe the Ego driven lie.

We are born in certain circumstances for a reason.  We chose to be born into our life.  From those choices of parents (and circle of people), geography, time, and physical attributes come all of our potential experiences.  You are reading this now because you have expressed a desire to grow and the universe, knowing your desire, has sent you many different ways to learn and grow.  Others have not been able to surmount the life challenges they set up for themselves.  Or, they chose to be born in this life as the “bad” one, the “addict,” the “thief,” or the “murderer” to teach us all a much needed lesson; it is not our place to judge.  What a beautiful thing to do, to choose to be born “bad,” to help others grow.


As Max Plank, Nobel prize winning physicist, and a colleague of Albert’s said, “As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear-headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such.”  If there is no matter, then how can we fill up a hole with stuff.  We can only fill it with energy.  We can transform all of that negative energy into self-love.  Fill yourself with the energy of self love.

Let’s look into that hole and recognize the lies.  Let’s replace them with the love that we are.  Let’s look on all people with love, understanding that we don’t know anything about their lives or choices.  The only thing we know about them is who they truly are.  They are the Divine.  When we look on all people as Divine we see beyond the illusion of this life.

I’ve heard of a lot of spiritual groups that speak of consumption and attachment to things and tell people to use the mantra, “I have enough.”  I don’t believe this works, I think everyone needs to say, “I am enough.”  Believe it, you are everything.

Let’s fill the hole with these affirmations:

  • I am infinite love.
  • I am infinite peace.
  • I am infinite abundance.
  • I am infinite creativity.
  • I see only love in all beings.
  • I see the light of the Divine in all beings.

Close your eyes and imagine that you shine a flashlight into a deep hole in the ground, there is a wild animal in the hole?    Bring it into the light and ask questions of it.  It will refule to talk to you or try to lie to you at first, but you will recognize the lies.   It has no power over you.  State the truth.  Tell the wild animal that you are love and that they are love.  See the animal with love.  See it transform.  What does it become?

Here’s a beautiful book to inspire you and help you grow.  


11 thoughts on “Pink piggy kitchen timers and heroin.

  1. thank you for the truth in this. In the grief recovery work I do we also call this “hole filling” S.T.E.R.B.S, short term emotion relieving behaviors. Sadly the don’t work, do they. Namaste.

  2. Thank you for sharing the truth of this. In grief recovery work, we also call this “hole filling” STERBS…short term, emotion relieving behaviors. Sadly they don’t work as we’d like.

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