“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.” -Albert Einstein
Let’s face it, anger does not feel good. Since emotion is the first indication that we are not using positive thoughts to enhance our lives and attract happiness to us then whenever we feel anger we need to stop and reevaluate our thoughts.
There are many things which bring on the feeling of anger. On a personal level; simple nuisances like traffic and, at other times, heart wrenching acts, like betrayal. We do ourselves a terrible injustice by holding on to anger. The antidote is forgiveness.
In order to forgive we must not take things personally. If someone hurts you it is their problem. Don’t believe that you deserved it. No one deserves to be treated unkindly. If someone doesn’t love you enough, it is not because you are unlovable. You are as lovable as anyone else in the world. You deserve love as much as anyone else in the world. Forgive them. If your partner walks away from you, don’t worry, the universe is sending someone better for you. Forgive them. Every action and expression is one of either love or fear. If someone is being “mean,” they are acting out of fear. If someone is being “kind,” they are acting out of love.
Remember we get back what we give out. If we forgive people and act with kindness and compassion, we will be forgiven, we will be given kindness and compassion. We will be able to forgive ourselves.
There’s an old Yiddish expression, and I think Albert probably heard this one: “Anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It really encapsulates the reality of holding onto anger and resentment, doesn’t it? Anger eats us up. Forgiveness frees us. We can only know how to truly love when we know how to forgive.
I’m not immune to anger. Just like most people I have had to learn the hard way to forgive. It is a freeing feeling; forgiveness. It liberates the soul and lifts the spirit. It lets us finally learn to love.
There is something that helps us to forgive, though it is not necessary. Understanding. If we understand why a person acted the way they did it helps us to forgive. We can see that they have a belief that is hurting them, and that they acted out of ignorance and fear. Everyone does their best.
Anger can also be internally focused. We must learn to forgive ourselves. When we forgive ourselves our missteps, we can more easily forgive others. When you are angry at yourself for some stupid thing you did, some embarrassing incident, or harsh action you took, it is sometimes good to imagine that someone you love very much did the same thing. Wouldn’t you forgive them? Be as gentle on yourself. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself all the little and big mistakes you have made.
Find a photograph of yourself when you were a child and display it somewhere that you will see it daily. When you look at the photo of that adorable little child, ask yourself if that little child deserves to be loved and deserves to be forgiven. I think she does. Whenever you look at that photograph you will be reminded of love and forgiveness. If you don’t have any pictures of yourself as a young child then use a picture of another young child that you may or may not know and have that photo represent you as a child. Forgive yourself.
Then start forgiving those towards whom you have anger. If someone is driving you crazy in traffic, forgive them. If there are emotional wounds from which you are still recovering and from which you have held on to that self-destructive emotion of anger for far too long, sit quietly, close your eyes, see their face, and forgive them. Forgive them until you feel it, until you cry from the relief of letting go of an emotion that has done nothing but hurt you. Forgive them until there is nothing left to forgive. You may get the angry feeling back in a few days or a week or a month; forgive them again. Forgive them until it sticks. Then you are truly free to love.
Forgiveness saves people’s lives. It decreases your stress level. It opens up your heart to new experiences of love. Do it for yourself and to make the world a better, more loving place.
Here are some incredible affirmations:
- I am filled with healing energy.
- I look for love and find it everywhere.
- I allow the love from my own heart to heal all that I see.
- Joy, joy, joy. I lovingly allow joy to flow through my mind and body and experiences.
- My mind is at peace. I live in the present. All is perfect in my world.
- I am totally centered in the love and joy of being alive. I flow with life.
- I envision a world of peace and love.
- I see a world in which all people are treated equally, with justice and compassion.
- The past is forgotten and forgiven. I am free forever.
Imagine yourself loving everyone in the world! Feel the love flow out of you and encompass the entire planet! Imagine it as a beautiful light that you control and extend to everyone.